DO’S AND DON’TS FOR GALS
Okay ladies, it’s your turn. I had a harder time thinking of as many amusing things to talk about concerning the
women as I did last week with the men. Could be I’m protecting my own. Or, just walking a bit more softly with
the ladies cause, quite frankly, I’m more afraid of them than the guys. But, in terms of the expected dress code
and fashion sense, most women have a better handle on things than most men. Sexist, I know, but possibly
true? Anyhow, I persevered, and below are a few things I’ve noticed in my travels, and am happy to pass along to
a willing reader:
• When it is necessary to wear hosiery, which is rare these days, don’t wear stockings darker than your skirt or
shoes lighter than your stockings. I recently saw (before Labor Day) a woman in a white skirt, white shoes, and
black stockings. I did such a severe double-take that my head almost fell off my shoulders. There is something
terribly jarring about this picture. On rare occasions, I’ve seen this look briefly portrayed in ultra high fashion
magazines, and I can only think how misguided it is.
• If you are coming to a singles mixer, leave the khaki work pants, the baggy shirt, and the Nike running shoes
home. I saw this combo recently, I swear. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with sprucing up a bit when going out
for the evening regardless of your reasons for being out and about. It doesn’t mean you’re desperately looking for
a man or pandering to the idea of getting a man. There is nothing wrong with looking nice for the opposite sex.
And besides, how are you going to tell your grandchildren that torn jeans aren’t appropriate for their mother’s third
wedding if you’re not setting a good example yourself? Haven’t you realized yet that the goal is not to be
comfortable, but to look nice so no one talks about you?
• Make sure the fashions you have chosen to wear fit you - literally. I saw a woman in an overcoat with a waist so
high in the back that it looked like she had her adolescent daughter’s coat on. And, the more I think of it, perhaps
she did. Life can be hectic that way. However, if you haven’t resorted to wearing your kids clothes because they
don’t fit or the style isn’t quite right, then be sure that the grown-up clothes you do choose at least fit you -
stylishly. And, if you have to ask anyone if you should be wearing something, the answer is always “no”. Trust me
on this.
• Update the hairdo. If you look like a Stepford wife in a flared June Cleaver skirt, something’s got to go. If you are
still wearing Farah Fawcett’s hair, it’s time for a change. And, if the female version of a man’s mullet has made a
home on your scalp - yikes! - I don’t know what to say. Except, get a good haircut. Are you wearing the same
hairdo you wore when you were “in your prime”? Well, it’s time for a makeover. And, by the way, ladies, yellow or
gold hair doesn’t look good on anyone over the age of seven. Ask the man in the street, or your children, or your
best friend what they think of your hairdo. And personal style. Then pay attention. Unless they’re going to lie to
you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, then ask me.
• Smile or put some other pleasant look you save for public functions on your face. You don’t have to grin like an
idiot; just don’t look scary. Look people in the eye when you walk into a room, and don’t be oblivious to your
surroundings. Other people who see you may be trying to get your attention. Your friends don’t like it when you
appear to ignore them. And, it looks like you lack confidence. Very unsexy. Be open to someone connecting with
you. Besides, it is much easier for a guy to start a conversation with you if you are already looking at him and
smiling his way. This is certainly worth practicing until you are able to come into a crowded room easily.
Remember, just because it’s uncomfortable is no excuse not to master this technique. And besides, everyone
will soon be jealous of your new attitude.
• Don’t stand around in a gaggle of girls talking, laughing, and generally having a good time with your friends and
then complain that no one is asking you to dance or coming over to talk with you. When was the last time you
walked over to a group of 3, 4, or 5 guys who appeared to be deep in conversational fun? Can you imagine how
intimidating that walk must be? So, if you’re interested in meeting some of the men attending the same function
you’re attending, you’re going to have to help the situation along. Extricate yourself from your posse, make eye
contact with whomever looks interesting to you, and move the situation along with your winning smile. It doesn’t
hurt to make it a bit easier for someone to get to know you.
• Don’t let men who you do not care for hang on you. You’re not a coat rack, and there is nothing nice about
tolerating something you’d prefer not to endure. Learn to say, “I’m not a hugger”, “I would prefer it if you didn’t lean
on me like that”, or,”please get your tongue out of my throat, we haven’t been properly introduced”. If enough
women tell enough men, this problem may go away. Yay!!
• Don’t accept alcohol or other drinks from men you’re not interested in. If someone wants to buy you a drink, and
you accept, he is hoping to be able to spend some time with you. And, rightfully so. He isn’t a drink delivery
system just yours for the taking. By accepting, you are tacitly saying, okay, I will spend some time with you. If that
is not your desire, then turn down the offer. None of us needs a free drink that badly. And the men appreciate
knowing where they stand.
• Girls don’t often need to be told this, but sometimes a reminder is necessary. So, here it is: smell good - teeth,
gums, clothes, shoes, hair; anyplace where someone’s nose might be.
Please email your comments to sdplatt2@astound.net.
Susan’s Wake Up Call, Copyright, 2009, by Susan D. Platt.
No part of this article may be reproduced without the express permission of the author.
October 1, 2008 - 5
Okay ladies, it’s your turn. I had a harder time thinking of as many amusing things to talk about concerning the
women as I did last week with the men. Could be I’m protecting my own. Or, just walking a bit more softly with
the ladies cause, quite frankly, I’m more afraid of them than the guys. But, in terms of the expected dress code
and fashion sense, most women have a better handle on things than most men. Sexist, I know, but possibly
true? Anyhow, I persevered, and below are a few things I’ve noticed in my travels, and am happy to pass along to
a willing reader:
• When it is necessary to wear hosiery, which is rare these days, don’t wear stockings darker than your skirt or
shoes lighter than your stockings. I recently saw (before Labor Day) a woman in a white skirt, white shoes, and
black stockings. I did such a severe double-take that my head almost fell off my shoulders. There is something
terribly jarring about this picture. On rare occasions, I’ve seen this look briefly portrayed in ultra high fashion
magazines, and I can only think how misguided it is.
• If you are coming to a singles mixer, leave the khaki work pants, the baggy shirt, and the Nike running shoes
home. I saw this combo recently, I swear. Ladies, there is nothing wrong with sprucing up a bit when going out
for the evening regardless of your reasons for being out and about. It doesn’t mean you’re desperately looking for
a man or pandering to the idea of getting a man. There is nothing wrong with looking nice for the opposite sex.
And besides, how are you going to tell your grandchildren that torn jeans aren’t appropriate for their mother’s third
wedding if you’re not setting a good example yourself? Haven’t you realized yet that the goal is not to be
comfortable, but to look nice so no one talks about you?
• Make sure the fashions you have chosen to wear fit you - literally. I saw a woman in an overcoat with a waist so
high in the back that it looked like she had her adolescent daughter’s coat on. And, the more I think of it, perhaps
she did. Life can be hectic that way. However, if you haven’t resorted to wearing your kids clothes because they
don’t fit or the style isn’t quite right, then be sure that the grown-up clothes you do choose at least fit you -
stylishly. And, if you have to ask anyone if you should be wearing something, the answer is always “no”. Trust me
on this.
• Update the hairdo. If you look like a Stepford wife in a flared June Cleaver skirt, something’s got to go. If you are
still wearing Farah Fawcett’s hair, it’s time for a change. And, if the female version of a man’s mullet has made a
home on your scalp - yikes! - I don’t know what to say. Except, get a good haircut. Are you wearing the same
hairdo you wore when you were “in your prime”? Well, it’s time for a makeover. And, by the way, ladies, yellow or
gold hair doesn’t look good on anyone over the age of seven. Ask the man in the street, or your children, or your
best friend what they think of your hairdo. And personal style. Then pay attention. Unless they’re going to lie to
you because they don’t want to hurt your feelings, then ask me.
• Smile or put some other pleasant look you save for public functions on your face. You don’t have to grin like an
idiot; just don’t look scary. Look people in the eye when you walk into a room, and don’t be oblivious to your
surroundings. Other people who see you may be trying to get your attention. Your friends don’t like it when you
appear to ignore them. And, it looks like you lack confidence. Very unsexy. Be open to someone connecting with
you. Besides, it is much easier for a guy to start a conversation with you if you are already looking at him and
smiling his way. This is certainly worth practicing until you are able to come into a crowded room easily.
Remember, just because it’s uncomfortable is no excuse not to master this technique. And besides, everyone
will soon be jealous of your new attitude.
• Don’t stand around in a gaggle of girls talking, laughing, and generally having a good time with your friends and
then complain that no one is asking you to dance or coming over to talk with you. When was the last time you
walked over to a group of 3, 4, or 5 guys who appeared to be deep in conversational fun? Can you imagine how
intimidating that walk must be? So, if you’re interested in meeting some of the men attending the same function
you’re attending, you’re going to have to help the situation along. Extricate yourself from your posse, make eye
contact with whomever looks interesting to you, and move the situation along with your winning smile. It doesn’t
hurt to make it a bit easier for someone to get to know you.
• Don’t let men who you do not care for hang on you. You’re not a coat rack, and there is nothing nice about
tolerating something you’d prefer not to endure. Learn to say, “I’m not a hugger”, “I would prefer it if you didn’t lean
on me like that”, or,”please get your tongue out of my throat, we haven’t been properly introduced”. If enough
women tell enough men, this problem may go away. Yay!!
• Don’t accept alcohol or other drinks from men you’re not interested in. If someone wants to buy you a drink, and
you accept, he is hoping to be able to spend some time with you. And, rightfully so. He isn’t a drink delivery
system just yours for the taking. By accepting, you are tacitly saying, okay, I will spend some time with you. If that
is not your desire, then turn down the offer. None of us needs a free drink that badly. And the men appreciate
knowing where they stand.
• Girls don’t often need to be told this, but sometimes a reminder is necessary. So, here it is: smell good - teeth,
gums, clothes, shoes, hair; anyplace where someone’s nose might be.
Please email your comments to sdplatt2@astound.net.
Susan’s Wake Up Call, Copyright, 2009, by Susan D. Platt.
No part of this article may be reproduced without the express permission of the author.
October 1, 2008 - 5
The Society of Single Professionals
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