DO'S AND DONT'S FOR GUYS
As some of you know, I attend many of the dances, mixers, and various singles events in the Bay Area. I love
going out, meeting people, and hanging out with my friends - young and old, old and new. I have been known to
pay attention to other people’s behavior, become amused, and mock occasionally. I wanted to share with all of
you some of my observations and opinions of the more outrageous, funny, and just plain human things I’ve seen
and experienced. I have compiled a cautionary list of do’s and don’ts for guys that I think you will enjoy. Perhaps
you will recognize and be amused by some of this, give me a virtual high-five, and have an “ah ha” moment.
Toward this end, you guys are going to get thrown under the bus. Have no fear, the women will get their due next
week. So fellas, make sure your sense of humor is in tact and at the ready. Here we go.
1. Fashion alert! Do not wear your pants and belt so high and tight above your waist that you look like you have a
tourniquet wrapped around your chest. You have a waist - find it! And loosen up that belt. The Pillsbury dough
boy (or in the case of you macho types - the Michelin tire guy) should not be your fashion model. On the other
hand, wearing your pants so low that your behind shows isn’t cool either. And while that’s not much of a problem
in our group, I was at a mixer last week, and I swear the pants almost came down on one of the attendees. That
was a real “hold your breath until you choke with laughter” moment.
2. Get rid of those shirts with the narrow button down collar and the checked or striped print, and the narrow
waist. And, throw away those stretched and baggy, faded jersey type golf shirt pullovers. Or, use them to wash
your car. Unless you want to look like a geeky teenager from the 50’s, update the wardrobe. And buy new cargo
pants. Those “Bermuda” shorts you bought 10 years ago that hit two, three, or four inches above your knees are
not makin’ it. Look in the Sunday papers at the clothing catalogs. Basically, the styles from one store to another
are similar, and will give you a good idea of what’s actually in style. And telling me “they’re still wearable” is falling
on deaf ears.
3. Get a haircut. Unless you are stuck in ponytail land, and won’t get rid of it regardless of what anyone says, get
a good haircut. Short. Makes you look way younger. No neck ruffles. No comb-overs. And, please, get rid of the
Santa Claus beards. Goatees, mustaches, very short beards are fine; but, a whole lot of Grizzly Adams white or
grey facial hair just isn’t as attractive as you probably would like it to be. And telling me that you like it is also
falling on deaf ears.
4. Please don’t drink your cocktails or other drinks through a straw. Straws are for kids. And besides, most of the
“straws” placed in the glasses are drink stirrers, and not meant to be used as a beverage conveyance. Know
your drinking paraphernalia. Your manhood may depend on it.
5. If you are going to be in the company of a woman for a substantial period of time - long enough so that other
men think you are together and won’t approach her - offer to buy her a drink. If you are not so inclined, then don’t
occupy her entire evening. Only you know your intentions. Are you interested in her, or are you just killing time.
Be considerate of her time and her intentions. Is she really happy that you are hanging on her? Try to ascertain.
Everyone will be happier in the long run.
6. Trying to asses a woman’s complete biography who you just met during a four minute session of Michael
Jackson’s “Thriller” is an annoying experience. Ask her name, and keep it short on the dance floor. If you want to
know more about her, buy her a drink and talk. Some women may like the third degree, but some women just
want to dance. And, by the way, walk her back to her seat when you are finished dancing. Turning on your heel
and leaving her on the dance floor to find her own way through the crowd at the end of a song is just rude.
Exhibiting some manners puts you in a much better position to see if she wants either further dances or
conversation with you.
7. Don’t tell a woman to “smile” when you’re dancing with her, even if you think she’s prettier when she does. At
this point, your opinion of her facial expression is not that important to her, and may make her feel extremely self-
conscious. And besides, if she were having such a good time, there would be no need for you to point out that
she looks like she wishes she were anywhere else besides the dance floor with you. Maybe tell her a joke
instead. Or, perhaps just dance.
8. Speaking of, learn how to dance. Just the basics. Like, where the damn beat is. Remember, those of you who
like to do your own thing, we women are required to know how to do everyone’s thing, and do it backwards, and
often in heels. So do us a favor, and learn a little standard free style and swing so that we don’t feel like we’re
constantly guessing what your next move is going to be, and we’re not so concerned about loosing a limb every
time you spin us.
9. This next one is a pet peeve among some of my women friends. Many of you are into the automatic hugging
and kissing thing when you see someone you know - friend or acquaintance - or complete stranger; doesn’t
seem to matter. We all get a full-on body press smearing makeup and lipstick and mussing hair. Some of us
don’t care for this style of greeting. Make sure you notice whether or not the woman is receptive to your lovin’
ways. Does she put her face up for a kiss and a hug, does she put her hand out for a handshake, or does she
look like a deer caught in the headlights of your onslaught? Pay attention, and respond accordingly. No one said
this was going to be easy, but we’re all different, and you need to treat us as individuals, not as if we are all the
same person wanting the same things.
10. If you like a woman well enough to want to see her again, ask her for a date - don’t play the phone number
game. Man up and buy her a cup of coffee. On the other hand, don’t ask her for her phone number if you don’t
intend to call her. Learn how to say, “I had a lot of fun this evening, and I’m sure we’ll see each other again.
Goodnight”.
And sweet dreams to all of you.
Please email your comments to sdplatt2@astound.net.
Susan’s Wake Up Call, Copyright, 2009 by Susan D. Platt
(No part of this article may be reproduced without the express permission of the author).
September 21, 2008 - 4
As some of you know, I attend many of the dances, mixers, and various singles events in the Bay Area. I love
going out, meeting people, and hanging out with my friends - young and old, old and new. I have been known to
pay attention to other people’s behavior, become amused, and mock occasionally. I wanted to share with all of
you some of my observations and opinions of the more outrageous, funny, and just plain human things I’ve seen
and experienced. I have compiled a cautionary list of do’s and don’ts for guys that I think you will enjoy. Perhaps
you will recognize and be amused by some of this, give me a virtual high-five, and have an “ah ha” moment.
Toward this end, you guys are going to get thrown under the bus. Have no fear, the women will get their due next
week. So fellas, make sure your sense of humor is in tact and at the ready. Here we go.
1. Fashion alert! Do not wear your pants and belt so high and tight above your waist that you look like you have a
tourniquet wrapped around your chest. You have a waist - find it! And loosen up that belt. The Pillsbury dough
boy (or in the case of you macho types - the Michelin tire guy) should not be your fashion model. On the other
hand, wearing your pants so low that your behind shows isn’t cool either. And while that’s not much of a problem
in our group, I was at a mixer last week, and I swear the pants almost came down on one of the attendees. That
was a real “hold your breath until you choke with laughter” moment.
2. Get rid of those shirts with the narrow button down collar and the checked or striped print, and the narrow
waist. And, throw away those stretched and baggy, faded jersey type golf shirt pullovers. Or, use them to wash
your car. Unless you want to look like a geeky teenager from the 50’s, update the wardrobe. And buy new cargo
pants. Those “Bermuda” shorts you bought 10 years ago that hit two, three, or four inches above your knees are
not makin’ it. Look in the Sunday papers at the clothing catalogs. Basically, the styles from one store to another
are similar, and will give you a good idea of what’s actually in style. And telling me “they’re still wearable” is falling
on deaf ears.
3. Get a haircut. Unless you are stuck in ponytail land, and won’t get rid of it regardless of what anyone says, get
a good haircut. Short. Makes you look way younger. No neck ruffles. No comb-overs. And, please, get rid of the
Santa Claus beards. Goatees, mustaches, very short beards are fine; but, a whole lot of Grizzly Adams white or
grey facial hair just isn’t as attractive as you probably would like it to be. And telling me that you like it is also
falling on deaf ears.
4. Please don’t drink your cocktails or other drinks through a straw. Straws are for kids. And besides, most of the
“straws” placed in the glasses are drink stirrers, and not meant to be used as a beverage conveyance. Know
your drinking paraphernalia. Your manhood may depend on it.
5. If you are going to be in the company of a woman for a substantial period of time - long enough so that other
men think you are together and won’t approach her - offer to buy her a drink. If you are not so inclined, then don’t
occupy her entire evening. Only you know your intentions. Are you interested in her, or are you just killing time.
Be considerate of her time and her intentions. Is she really happy that you are hanging on her? Try to ascertain.
Everyone will be happier in the long run.
6. Trying to asses a woman’s complete biography who you just met during a four minute session of Michael
Jackson’s “Thriller” is an annoying experience. Ask her name, and keep it short on the dance floor. If you want to
know more about her, buy her a drink and talk. Some women may like the third degree, but some women just
want to dance. And, by the way, walk her back to her seat when you are finished dancing. Turning on your heel
and leaving her on the dance floor to find her own way through the crowd at the end of a song is just rude.
Exhibiting some manners puts you in a much better position to see if she wants either further dances or
conversation with you.
7. Don’t tell a woman to “smile” when you’re dancing with her, even if you think she’s prettier when she does. At
this point, your opinion of her facial expression is not that important to her, and may make her feel extremely self-
conscious. And besides, if she were having such a good time, there would be no need for you to point out that
she looks like she wishes she were anywhere else besides the dance floor with you. Maybe tell her a joke
instead. Or, perhaps just dance.
8. Speaking of, learn how to dance. Just the basics. Like, where the damn beat is. Remember, those of you who
like to do your own thing, we women are required to know how to do everyone’s thing, and do it backwards, and
often in heels. So do us a favor, and learn a little standard free style and swing so that we don’t feel like we’re
constantly guessing what your next move is going to be, and we’re not so concerned about loosing a limb every
time you spin us.
9. This next one is a pet peeve among some of my women friends. Many of you are into the automatic hugging
and kissing thing when you see someone you know - friend or acquaintance - or complete stranger; doesn’t
seem to matter. We all get a full-on body press smearing makeup and lipstick and mussing hair. Some of us
don’t care for this style of greeting. Make sure you notice whether or not the woman is receptive to your lovin’
ways. Does she put her face up for a kiss and a hug, does she put her hand out for a handshake, or does she
look like a deer caught in the headlights of your onslaught? Pay attention, and respond accordingly. No one said
this was going to be easy, but we’re all different, and you need to treat us as individuals, not as if we are all the
same person wanting the same things.
10. If you like a woman well enough to want to see her again, ask her for a date - don’t play the phone number
game. Man up and buy her a cup of coffee. On the other hand, don’t ask her for her phone number if you don’t
intend to call her. Learn how to say, “I had a lot of fun this evening, and I’m sure we’ll see each other again.
Goodnight”.
And sweet dreams to all of you.
Please email your comments to sdplatt2@astound.net.
Susan’s Wake Up Call, Copyright, 2009 by Susan D. Platt
(No part of this article may be reproduced without the express permission of the author).
September 21, 2008 - 4
The Society of Single Professionals
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